At the risk of allowing this to get out of hand...
A while ago I posted on MySpace a bulletin that I got from my friend Brian about rape. Grant (http://doingthingswithwords.blogspot.com/2005/12/if-you-claim-to-be-man_07.html) has now posted that to his blog, and I don't know if he got it from MySpace because it's also a forward that's been making the rounds, but it's the same exact thing, so I'm going to take some responsibility for it getting out there.

Then my friend Pete (http://www.peteholiday.com/archives/001920) posted something basically telling Grant he's "a fucking moron." And that telling a woman not to take precautions is just stupid and yadda yadda. And while on the one hand I agree with Pete, because you do still have to be careful, I also think he completely misses the point of the whole post. So, I was going to leave this in a comment, but it just started getting too long.

So, Pete, first of all, Grant didn't write it, just chill on that.

Second, it's not saying DON'T protect yourself, it's saying don't rape. There's a lot of focus in the rape-awareness program on protection, and while that's a good thing, I think somtimes we (i.e. women) wonder why the burden is all on us? Why isn't someone out there telling guys that this behavior is not acceptable? Why do we allow our culture to tell young guys that sex is enough a badge of honor that forcing it is worth it?

Frankly, the focus on protection leads to the mindset that you're GOING to be raped, that someone is GOING to try it no matter what, and you can only hope that you're better or stronger than they are. Also, it tells the victim of rape that she just wasn't good enough. She forgot and wore a ponytail after dark (they tell you to wear a hat or bun your hair), she drank something that was doctored (can't tell you how many of my friends this has happened to, luckily, as far as I know, they've all had other friends around that have protected them). She wore a skirt, she wasn't able to get the mace out of her purse quickly enough, she wore heels (they tell you to wear flats, easier to run away in).

You see my point, yes, after dark we could all just stay locked up in our triple-deadbolted apartment with the windows closed and a gun next to our pillow, but WHY should we HAVE to??

Granted that probably the people that most need to read this aren't going to. Even if they do, they're not going to change. But at least it's out there. It's telling women that being raped is not their fault, and you never know what other good it might do. I know that for myself, when I run around Bryan Park at night I'm nervous when I see other people there. I tense up as I pass by them, I get ready to deal with whatever...and nothing ever happens. But I don't think that someone saying, "oh, you don't have to do that, just tell the guy not to rape you" is gonna make me stop.

So you blast Grant for missing the point, but you completely missed it as well.